One week from now, on the fifth of June, I will be turning twenty. Quite honestly, I am having a small crisis about it. I will be entering the next decade of my life and all I have been told is,
'Your
twenties are the best years of your life'.
No
pressure or anything.
I know in
a years to come or even in the months to come I will look back at this post,
laugh and most likely cringe at my naive nineteen year old self who was
worrying about turning twenty…and that will be okay. Because whatever I am
feeling now is valid and real.
So, to
remind myself that I have survived up until now, here are twenty things I learnt before I turned twenty:
--
1) Always, always carry spare money and a lighter.
£5 might just save you walking home in the rain when you can get
the bus and the lighter is a guaranteed way to meet people.
2) You
are stronger than you realize and you are crueler than you realize.
People make mistakes, forgive them and move on. People did that
for you.
3) You will change. You’re not the same person you were
three years ago. You’re not even the same person you were three minutes ago and
that’s okay. Especially if you don’t like the person you were three minutes
ago.
Never underestimate the power of being given a second
chance. Don't squander the opportunity to
reinvent yourself.
4) You
won't like your name until you hear someone say it in their sleep.
Oh how I wish this wasn't true, but hearing someone whisper your
name just as they are falling asleep or waking up is equally as magical.
5) You will be scared of all kinds of things, of spiders
and the dark and eating alone, but your biggest fear will be that people will
see you the way you see yourself.
When they do, be prepared for it.
6) Always be friends with the broken people. They know how to
survive.
Don't
romanticize their brokenness but find strength from it. Having a best friend
that had to put herself back together taught me so much of who I am today.
7) Stop falling in love with memories.
Memories
aren't reliable, that person will not be the same and it's not fair to hold
them to who they once were. Appreciate and cherish times gone by but
accept that they are gone.
8) Stay away from people that make you feel like you are hard
to love.
You are
worth it and you will find someone who makes it all so easy.
9) Everything is temporary.
The
sooner I realized that, the sooner I could get on with life.
10) Get excited about the little things.
It's okay
to squeal when finding loose change in a coat pocket or to find the cute guy in
class actually helps the time pass quicker or to love the outfit you are
wearing. It is good to get excited.
11) People watching will always help.
Get a
coffee and a window seat and just watch. Watch the people go by. Watch the girl
with too much shopping. Watch the couple wandering along hand in hand. Watch
the boy with his head down, ear phones in, focused. Find yourself in all of
these people. Take a step back and get out of your head for a while.
12) If you are not on the right path, get off it.
That might be a book that you just can't get into. Or college feels like a mistake. Whatever it is, if you are sure. Just stop. There are other paths, less trodden
but nonetheless, they are there. Take that step.
13) Before you are a daughter, a sister, an aunt or a niece. You are your own person.
Don't put those things before yourself. Being the image of
who they want you to be means you will lose out every time.
14) Sing.
Sing as
loud as you can, out of tune, until you think you'll pass out, fast and slow. Singing is good for the soul and the easiest stress buster around.
15) Make
more spontaneous decisions.
Book that
concert ticket because you won't care about the 6 hour train ride later when
you are re telling the moment you sang along with hundreds of other people. Have
that house party because when you move away those are the nights you will want to
remember.
16) When
inspiration strikes, use it.
Chase
that thought; expand it. Use up all that inspiration until its gone because you don't know when a bad day will crop up.
17) Reach
out.
You never
know when someone may be waiting for you to take the first step. Do it and if
it doesn't work out, at least you know.
18) It's
okay to not have a clue.
Not
knowing who you are, what you like or wanting to put labels on yourself is
okay. If you are happy, then you don't owe anyone an explanation
19) Time
does not heal all, but it does help.
Time does
not make problems go away but it does help you deal with them and gain some
perspective.
20) You
will be okay.
You will
be okay.
